Wicked, evil thoughts
Walking to Paddington Station this morning, a 3-foot tall dwarf walked past me, smoking a cigarette as she battled her way to wherever she was going. Without a moment’s hesitation, the cruel and wicked side of my brain thought to itself “Hey, you should give those things up … they’ll stunt your growth”. And yes, I did feel guilty for thinking it.
Crowbar tactics
So, I’m in London, staying in a hotel near Paddington Station for a two-day training course. It’s nine o’clock in the evening and I decide to nip down to the bar for a couple of pints before crashing out. On the way out of the room I press the button on the door handle to lock the door and then pull it shut after me. Oops, forgot to bring my book, so I turn back round and get my key out to unlock the door. Only I’ve locked it from the inside, and now the key is nothing more than a useless piece of metal with a whacking great plastic paddle attached. I tell reception and they send the porter up to let me back in. The porter tries his key and has no luck, saying "I will go get my college". He means colleague. Colleague arrives - is hotel manager. Colleague informs me that I cannot get in and that a locksmith needs to be called in. Doh!
So, if you were staying in the Paddington Court Hotel and were woken up at midnight by load banging, that would be the locksmith ‘opening the door’ with a hammer and crowbar.
Still, I got to watch the some of the Superbowl while I waited …
I got the power!
The best £80 I’ve spent in ages! That’s not what I thought when I saw the price tag next to the power washer in B&Q. I was expecting it to be much cheaper, but the other power washers that were cheaper looked … well, a bit cheap. However, having got the washer out of the box, all locked together bayonet-fitting style, and plugged in to the hose I realised how well my money had been spent.
Seriously, there are few things in life as much fun as pulling the trigger on one of these jet washers and taking to every big of ground-in dirt, algae and whatever else you find on your patio/brickwork/kennel. You can feel the recoil due to the pressure and after a few hours of this (it’s easily done, trust me) your wrist will ache from holding that trigger down.
Over the weekend I managed to do the whole of the back yard, the paving out the front and then, because the dirt from the front paving had gone over the car, I attacked that too. Only thing is, attacked is perhaps a little too literal. Using the high impact pencil jet attachment I set about removing the ground-in dirt on the bonnet but instead managed to remove a layer of lacquer. Having managed this I proceeded to do the same with the area immediately under the grill. Doh!
Once finished with all this jet-washing tomfoolery, I stripped off my now very soaking, stinky and dirty jeans and plunged in to the bath; the jeans simultaneously went into the washing machine. It was only later on in the afternoon while shopping that I noticed my mobile phone was missing …
It’s amazing what a well placed towel and a radiator can do to counter the effects that a full wash cycle can have on a mobile phone. Admittedly, a splash-proof phone, but not a washing machine-proof one. After two hours of drying out, and five attempts at trying to switch it on, finally the Nokia 5210 came back to life. Even more surprising, no contacts were lost, the battery still had some charge and it even allowed me to re-charge it fully again.
I now have the cleanest phone in Swindon. Not to mention back yard.
